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  • How to break up with someone: Give them a sock and tell them they are a free elf now.
Source: aishdai
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dougfirsandgreentea:

Along with “A new law where every man who opposes birth control gets magically pregnant the next time he has sex.”
And “A new law where every rich person who opposes raising taxes on himself and fellow rich people in order to improve public school funding must send his rich children to public schools like the rest of us.”

dougfirsandgreentea:

Along with “A new law where every man who opposes birth control gets magically pregnant the next time he has sex.”

And “A new law where every rich person who opposes raising taxes on himself and fellow rich people in order to improve public school funding must send his rich children to public schools like the rest of us.”

Source: ladiesagainsthumanity
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tastefullyoffensive:

[sarahandersen]

Teaching preschool does this very nicely as well. 

Source: sarahseeandersen
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slaughterhouse90210:

“Under every friendship there is a difficult sentence that must be said, in order that the friendship can be survived.”
― Zadie Smith,
The Autograph Man

Source: slaughterhouse90210
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"We talk about the idea of ‘punching up, not punching down’ all the time," Temkin said. "It’s something that we stand behind: making fun of those power structures, because they’re already powerful. Making jokes about rapes, making jokes about trans people, they don’t have the same cultural power."

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'Cards Against Humanity' Co-Creator Publicly Apologizes for Transphobic Card — Fusion.

The transphobic card is one of the only cards I’ve removed from my set because of its hurtfulness. I’m really glad to hear that Tempkin understands that the card went over the line and took it out and apologized.

(via brutereason)

(via seananmcguire)

Source: fusion.net
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"As far as I can tell, a YA novel is a regular novel that people actually read."

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Stephen Colbert in last night’s interview with John Green (via penguinteen)

Why, yes, Stephen Colbert.  Yes, it is.

(via tamorapierce)

(via tamorapierce)

Source: penguinteen
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mdmshakespeare:

rosefire:

gaywitch-practisingabortion:

situationalstudent:

purplespacecats:

professorbutterscotch:

kiskolee:

THIS.

I have never thought about it in this context

that’s actually really, really creepy.

I… fuck.

Yeah, basically.

I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages. 

There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.

Wow

(via wildwildeyes)

Source: bigfatphallusy
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"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option."

- Maya Angelou (via bookishfellows)

(via bookishfellows)

Source: larmoyante
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tamorapierce:

commanderspock:

mymodernmet

In 2011, Dutch photographer Charlotte Dumas embarked on a quest to locate the last surviving 9/11 search and rescue dogs who had worked so tirelessly ten years earlier. Retrieved is a collection of their portraits, a moving tribute to these heroic dogs and their handlers.

I love them.

Source: mymodernmet
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"The US budget is like a 1st grader playing Oregon Trail. Spend all the money on ammunition so you can shoot at stuff, then wonder why your wagon is falling apart and everyone is dying of dysentery."

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Malhavoc430 // Reddit (via mattchew03)

That’s it. That’s the whole government.

(via asgardian-feminist)

perfect.

(via coelasquid)

(via seananmcguire)

Source: mattchew03